Writing Therapy

0506

As much as I want to get mad at you today, I still ended up exchanging messages with you. The thought of you has manage to make me happy. I hate you I hate you but the more you entertain me, I'd go back to loving you. I am a mere stranger you said hi to until we never notice it's been consecutive days of conversation. But it was only me who have developed feelings. I miss our fair chat exchange. Lately, I am always the one who is starting the talk. I am clueless of who I am to you. I am certain though that never will I be your significant other. I am but one of your ordinary friends. I don't know until when can I accept that idea. I wish I could've ended it the first time I got the wrong sign. I am drowning now and cannot be able to walk away easily. I appreciate all the attention but I hate it at the same time because I am deeply falling in love with you as days go by.

0507
You've been busy today. Seems like I am begging for your replies again. Last night, I've been planning to confess everything to you. This morning, I decided not to. I cannot lose you now. I guess I have to let go of you asap though. My heart is suffering. I am in deep pain but of course it is not your fault, never yours. My attachment problem has been terrible. I have to move on soon enough before I breakdown.  At least tonight you are somehow friendly with your response. I suddenly miss the old app where we used to talk on slow pace. Back when we took time to get to know each other. Lately, it was just me who felt interested. 

0508
I am somehow happy with our conversation last night. Light lang tulad ng dati. Until this morning na hindi mo na naman ako pinapansin. Onting onti nalang susuko na talaga ako. Pero I don't know how can I go on without you. Nasa system na kita, routine na kita, ikaw yung kumukumpleto ng araw ko. But lately, everything seems no sense to you. Hindi ko na alam where do I go from here. Ang hirap mo iinterogate. I want answers. Then the exchange of messages from late noon to midnight was fun just the way I want to. I wonder what tomorrow will bring though. 

0509

You're ignoring me again. Marami pa naman akong rants today. Nakakamiss nung nakikinig ka pa. Problema sa trabaho, sa personal, pati tuloy ikaw problema ko na. Sobrang clingy ko pala talaga, naiinis ka na siguro. Sana pala hindi mo nalang ako pinagtyagaan before para di na tayo umabot sa ganito. I'm sorry. Tapos naalala ko pala, nakita ko yung jowabels mo kahapon. Di ko sure kung kilala nya ko pero nakatingin din sya sakin. Pakiconfirm nga kung sya talaga yong girl in pink stripes polo shirt and denim jeans. Haha. Ang sama yata ng tingin ko sa kanya kahapon,sorry. I have four unreplied messages now. If I add another one, it would be a shame. Para akong may token na pangsugal, isa nalang ang natitira, it's either mananalo ako pag nireplyan nya ko finally or matatalo ako kapag na seen zoned na naman ako. Alam ko online ka ngayon, pigil na pigil ako makipagchat sayo. Pride ko na kasi yun e. Huhu. Mauna ka naman o. Good night. Pansinin mo na ko. 

0510

I woke up thinking about you. I woke up crying with the thought of you. I wonder if today will bring me pain or gladness. I miss you. I hate why I cannot hate you. Seriously? Leaving without goodbye? I thought we are clear about it. Ughhhhh. Ay joke lang, nagreply ka na. Thanks kahit mejo suplado pa din ng slight. Thank you thank you thank you. Not.

0511

Kakayanin ko, kakayanin ko. Tinitiis ko. Hirap na hirap na ko. Pano ba to?! Walang iwanan naman o. Kaya ko naman yata. Parang tanga na naman ako nito e. I thought you are different. Prove me that you are please. May problema ka ba sakin? May problema ba tayo? Bakit biglang nagbago? Ang sakit sakit na e. Magpaalam ka nalang ng maayos. Kesa nageexpect ako sa wala. I needed an explanation. Please? I'm sorry. Don't I deserve an appropriate goodbye? Wala ng pupuntahan to, ako nalang ang may gusto. Sobrang nakakaiyak na. 

0512

When technically, we are 3 months acquaintance, I sent this to you http://thoughtcatalog.com/nadine-hocson/2015/05/this-is-how-you-lost-me/. I woke up crying. Now is the time to let you go. I don't know how.