Of haha and awkward messages

Dear A, 

I hope this is the first and last Valentine's Day that I will think about you. Everytime I imagine us being together, I knew I am complicating things. It will always be uneasy hanging out with your friends, I cannot tag along in your basketball games, not a chance of introducing each other to our families. Our love is a real definition of awkward. It isn't worthy to fight for. 

Just after few months when I can confidently say I have moved on from the past love, you unexpectedly come my way. It isn't hard to like you. It isn't easy to forget you. You are everything adorable. You are all but lovable. I enjoy conversing with you. Our midnight talks are no non sense. We have a connection. We have an understanding or so I thought. 

Until one day we were silent. Then we are fighting and we suddenly lose each other. Now this love is mess and wasted and hated. But I did not regret meeting you. I did not regret our exchange of haha and awkward messages.

I can finally say I'm over you.

Always,

A

To the one that got away,

I can never do anything about you being 17. You are much younger than me and I strongly believe that our seven year gap was purely the reason why we part ways. You're a college student and I am a hopeful professional. I don't know if age will still matter 5 or 10 years from now when we both have decent careers.

It was just amazing how our paths cross. A random chat. A simple smile. I conclude that our smileys were our "okay?okay!" I enjoyed getting to know you. I assume you were the guy I can talk to about how my day was, I can share my dilemma at work, I can laugh with the silliest things, I can converse about life decisions. One day, I wake up and there's no more you. I am alone but not the same alone when you weren't in my system yet. 

Our lives are coincidence. My hopeless romantic heart felt that it's destiny. Isn't it cute when we found out that we go to the same university. Also, you living in the subdivision wherein the developer is the real estate company I worked for. You who is an edm fanboy and me who recently discovered about it because of my cool kid friends. You - the tall, handsome, and everything awesome guy.

Things between us won't work but a closure could've been the proper way to end it. Unless we aren't closing doors.

I miss you, A. Everyday.

Never Ever Together

Dear, 

When I heard the announcement of the activity, I was just too excited to be with you again. We may not talk or smile to each other or whatsoever yet I am just glad to have the chance to stare at you. We were never groupmates from past events and I am thankful and happy that finally we were in one team in this activity. I was unhappy though because you weren't in our bus. I found you in the resort lobby. When the group activities have started, I hope you didn't notice that my face light up because of excitement. I heard your voice that made me smile and melts me. Your voice that I won't get tired of hearing. And then our group are laughing. We are laughing together. You suddenly transferred place and walk away from my left view. Did you catch me staring? There I found you at my back. Too cute, too shallow, sorry not sorry. I wonder if you're staring at me too. Feelers,sorry. I did enjoy all the activities that we had. Seems like we had to agree with decisions. I adore how smart and witty are you. You were walking behind us when we're about to look for our room assignment. During the party, we were side by side or at each other's back most of the time. I don't know if it's my trick to follow you or vice versa. Haha. I actually regret declining the drink you offered. I see you everywhere, maybe because I chose to. Seems like I always have to find you. I got the perfect view from my seat to your seat during breakfast. I got no glasses while in the beach and pool yet still I catch a glimpse of you. In the bus,we are finally together. I'm in the same column with you, at almost farthest back seat. We always find each other. We may find us at each other's back but we will never be together.

Untitled

Dearest,

Someone told me an unexpected news today. It was about a young man, it was about the guy I admire. It was about you. I was emotionless. I hardly reacted because I don't know what should be the most appropriate feeling. Am I supposed to feel sad, or jealous, or hurt? At the end of the day, I realize it wasn't about my feelings, it was all about you.

You're 21, young, free-spirited, imaginative, talented. Yet you are confused with what you like, with what you have, with the world. I surely know that what happened was a thing you didn't expected. I'm happy that you bravely accepted it though.

You are in my thoughts tonight.

You are journeying a good path as you follow the lead. But you decided to make your own way that turned out to be the wrong route. It was not a dead end but there's no u-turn. Walk still. You cannot go back but your mistakes can help you in finding the right way.

You seem to be academically intelligent but why did you waste the opportunity? I actually hate you for that. I hope you can share your arguments with me so I can understand you.

Your youth shall be rejoiced but you put a period. In the next days, there will be a responsibility that shall be greater than your love for oneself.

I don't know what your family felt and how did they reacted but after all I certainly know that the little one will bring joy to them.

Your love songs will then be lullabies.

Listen to your parents, young man, they surely know best.

You are lucky to have end up with your one great love. Take care of her and the infant she bears.

Happiness for you, S. :)

*please correct my grammar,i'm wide awake at 1am,late na naman ako bukas*

Project 30 Day Blog 13/30

Day 13 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

The photo below was supposed to be the published post. But I had to hide some words, and unfortunately, some can be read clearly when highlighted. Well then, PM me if you're curious.