Wrong Turn

What if destiny took a wrong turn on its way to the moment when we are supposed to meet? What if I chose a different path and didn’t have a chance to cross your path? This might be explained by “everything happens for a reason”. There are 8 billion people in this world and I may be lucky to have known you. Just a second of an act can lead us to a different destiny. I could have been myself today. However, if your parents didn’t meet each other, you can be a billionaire’s son, a pop star, or you might be one of the boys who broke Taylor Swift’s heart. But destiny decides that we have to be married, someday, maybe, I hope, I certainly want. Oh well, we are just a regular employee who work for the same boss now.

It was random work obligation and there I’ve known you. I can’t use the word “meet”, because we weren’t personally introduced to each other. I don’t know if you still remember me because I won’t forget you’ve mentioned my name once during the time that we are together. That was the sweetest thing I heard from you, when you call me in my first name.

I remember the tough time I had when I am waiting for my colleagues to talk about you and spill your name. I have searched you in social network sites and I googled your name. I am deeply into you. What have you done? Gush. *heartbreak*

This blog is an entry I will tell to my children regarding “how I met their father”. Aaah, so much of HIMYM. Aaaah, so much of daydreams about you.  I feel like I am the girl version of Ted Mosby. I am persuaded to found “The One.” I wish you are the end portion of the fairy tale, I wish you are my happily ever after, my prince charming.

I am writing this because I am too confused. If you just knew that you are whom I talk about, you could’ve have answer my worries, my fears.

Who is the girl in your social site profile photo?

Why did you keep the profile inactive then make it active after long months, then make it inactive again after I add you as a friend?

You don’t want us to be friends, maybe? Coz you don’t know me personally. Gah.

I check the sites of people close to you, and saw a suspicious girl who might be your new girl.

But when you get back to social site, the first girl photo was still there?

Is it you just don’t bother deleting it, or she’s still the girl?

But how are you connected with girl number 2?

Why does she have a hyphened surname same as yours?

Damn it. Damn it. Damn it.

You can’t be married, where is the wedding ring? Or the engagement ring?

If you marry her, why is she still with the company?

Or is she really still with the company?

Her email and messenger is active. It isn’t allowed.

Or were you still in the company?

Who transferred to the sister company?

Your relative may be the one she’s in a relationship with.

You may be the reason why they met.

But where are you in the New Year’s photo of your family.

Are you with girl number 2?

Or do you spent the holiday with the girl in the photo.

But why when I search in the friends of girl number 2, your family (which I mean, parents and siblings) were the only names I found.

Or maybe the guy who’s in a relationship with girl number 2 doesn’t have a facebook.

But you don’t have facebook, too.

I hate you. I hate that I love you. I just wanted to scream. Scream that I hate you. Scream that I love you. What if destiny took a wrong turn on its way to the moment when we are supposed to meet? Or was meeting you, the wrong turn?

I’m sorry.