Feelings

There are unhappy days, stressful days, steady days, and joyful days. The past days seem to be combination of all feelings.

1. There are highly respectable professions as commoners would think. Can we at least manage to do the stereotype? Some respect and admiration aren't easy to regain when lost.

2. The magic of surprises are always wonderful. I am the happiest, well at least the second happiest because my friend has a cool guy crush. The sweet participation during the surprise skit, the cake he holds for her, the resemblance on their smiles, the captured photo. Everything just felt positive. I hope it will go far. But he has a girlfriend. 

3. My friend wanted this one guy to for me. She has said all the good things about him and he almost pass to my ideal guy checklist. He is athletic, intelligent, rich, religious, family-oriented, will be getting a degree title sooner and not chinito but a cutie. Let me mention that he is a musician, a singer, composer, and knows how to play musical instruments too and he blogs and he draws beautifully. BUT my friend likes him (although I have her blessing), and he’s still studying, and he’s young, and maybe he won’t like me. I may be his opposite.

4. There is a line between being a girl and being a woman, that I may call being a lady. I’m glad I am enjoying the best of both worlds. My lovely colleagues are too awesome. I’m glad I can talk a lot now, and listen and learn. Everyday is to be thankful for. Life is serious, mature, light, and fun. I’m happy to have my girls around. I’m happy to be back in optimistic mind set.

5. There is a difference between being a boss and a leader. Is it hard to practice common courtesy? I hope you’ll realize. Respect is a big word.

6. They say girls are multitasker. I guess I am guilty, I do it everyday.

7. Some may not adore rain because of its emo feel. I love the positivity on it however. Somehow the idea of walking and dancing under the rain is delightful. Thanks to Taylor Swift for making us realize.

8. I am interested about you. Would you mind telling about your cradle? I like you in stories. Tell me how you procrastinate? J I like your silhouette photos. 

9. And I melt just now. Until this very second. Shet, di yata tayo bagay.

Gotta love August 1

I always look forward to beginnings. Although everyday, we can always do a good start, it's a stereotype that we do plans, goals, or resolutions during transition periods. It's more like I'll get a new hairstyle on August, I'll exercise starting Monday, I'll organize my files on the next quarter, or I'll be a health buff after New Year's Eve. So we welcome the 8th month today and we've been reading and hearing "August, please be good to me" e inaano ka ba ni August. My 1st day with Pareng August is actually a good one!

I woke up late than the usual. I did my morning routine then I left home. Today was one of the days I wish I had wake up early. I had a hard time waiting for the transportation going to work. It took me almost 30 minutes of waiting. During the travel time, I glance at my watch every now and then. The train is also too busy as it used to be. I guess I am late in the office for 5 minutes which is way too far to my usual 2-hour early bird employee.

I do my work errands, updates, paper works, etc. I went to site for a quick house turnover to client. After that, we headed to the mall to grab some lunch with lots of kwento in between . We went back to office and still continued eating, a choco mallow and cheesecake this time for dessert.

Maybe you're wondering what is amazing with that usual day of a regular employee. I'm weirdo at times but not today. The highlight of my day is seeing my crush. (So do you really think I'm weird?) He wasn't just this ordinary guy that i found cute or witty or what, he is actually my ideal guy. There have been blog post and poems and happy writings about him.

All the while I thought I was over him until that very moment...when I thought the feelings were gone, the daydreams were forgotten, and the acceptance had happened, the almost empty love I had goes up, recharged, and full of dreams yet again.

He passes by our cubicle and he glances at me I assume. My heart beats fast, my face blushes, and my smile is endless. My universe has stopped for a while and I stand up to make sure that it was him and to find out where is he going.

All the feelings were reminisced, all the things from the beginning just flashes, and I am back to be the girl who's hopelessly in love with the guy who is unfortunately in a relationship. Just another fail moment in love.

After an hour there was a commotion that happened inside the office which made us into panic mode. When all was buzzing and walking and asking, my world just stops again as I stare the guy of my dreams. He could've been my dream come true only if he wasn't into a commitment. Damn it. Why do guys that I like we're all complicated when paired to me. Guess I'm the looser here. Anyway, I'm just too happy that I finally, after 7 months, I get to see him again. His checkered top, and the boss's bag he's carrying and his more matured face. You seems better now and happier and smarter. My love for you that I thought was almost empty goes overflow and become unlimited again.

Was it destined that we are now under the same boss? I hope to see you more often. Maybe it wasn't love at all. I'm very vocal on wishing to have a guy bestfriend or an older brother. Maybe we can. Can we?

Happy August ahead!

Today's Rant

1. My bag is heavy. I should give up stuff I don't really use.
2. I'm tired travelling from house to office to site to home. Deymn. 
3. I still think about you. napaginipan nga kita eh, kasama mo sya. Pati sa panaginip, package deal? hmp.
4. Konti nalang susuko na ko.
5. I don't know why do I am even here. Mabuti sana kung nakikita kita sa ganitong panahon.

On the positive note:

Today, Jez, we believe God wants you to know that ...

you need to slow down.

Take a moment to pause, to think, to reflect and to pray.

Only then will you be able to get the right perspective on the people

and things in your life.

Dilemma at Work

Circa: Some time in February

Today is the last day at work of my officemate. Tonight, he can sleep as late as he can, hang out with friends, watch television all he can, then wake up tomorrow whatever time he wanted. He won’t bother getting up early, he won’t skip breakfast, he won’t get annoyed on morning rush traffic and won’t worry on getting thru the crowded train. He won’t get an early sermon from the boss and follow ups on pending works. This can last for weeks because he longs for some rest. At office, the operation must go on, so the staffs left will have to back up the job while waiting for the replacement. Different scenario might happen then.

First, the worker will get the load and do the job seriously hoping he’ll get compensation. It doesn’t happen normally though. Thus, he’ll get tired and will think about resignation too. Another thing that might happen must be, the worker will be assigned to do the work, continue the job like the usual, will get tired and will complain, yet optimistic enough that he can still manage the task given to him. He will think of resignation but chose to go with the flow because he values the company. Another scene can be a staff who gets the turnover work will do what he only wants until the replacement comes and he’s back to his regular work routine that he thinks just enough with the salary he is getting. And since wasn’t a satisfied employee, he’ll quit the job.

People don’t get fulfilled easily. Some took so long to land on their dream job yet in the middle of the practice, they realize it’s not really what they want. This must be related to the saying, “finding your passion”. They’ll back to start and search for the happiness they desire, that they thought they’d already find when they landed that previous job. Just like in all other aspects like love, college, even gadgets or perfume. This may be the reason why choices existed and why there are bad and good choice. Although there are many aspects that are still to be consider, like the chances, and the timing, it’s just how you will look at it. Life can be tragic, sad, challenging but that’s the same reason why life is amazing.

Days from now, my friend will have to start again with his pursuit of finding the right career. Some already find it, some were confused if they really have found it, and others are still on their journey to finding it.  Just like in love, college, gadget, or perfume. 

God is indeed surprising us with his plans. You just have to deal with it and thank him for everything, because it has a reason, a perfect reason why we exist.

The Right Way

In roadways,

In hallways,

In LIFE!

Happy Sunday! Cheers to good vibes! :)

Thoughts I Ponder

• This statement has an impact. "Bago ka pa lang kaya di ka pa nilalamon ng sistema." Somehow. True.
• I'm glad I made people smile. But others, you can't really please. Damn. This. Feeling.
• 05.16.2012.1 I woke up smiling because I dreamt of Chris Tiu. :)  This may be because I'm still excited where, when, and how will I meet him.
• 05.16.2012.2 I wonder what's something special today because it didn't felt like an ordinary day. Til I read on Twitter that it's #HappyBirthdayBillyCrawford
• Why I love Tiu.  Read. ♥♥♥
• Kahit mas maraming bagay ang nagpapangiti sayo. Hindi ka nalang palaging magtitiis sa mga bagay na nakakasakit sayo. Pero hindi ganun kadaling bumitaw kapag di ka na masaya. 
• Dear love, I am very happy to see your faces all around the Metro, your smile is so endearing. From Oracare, to Ecowarriors, to Uniqlo, and to Sterling Bank. That's why going to my project site is so exciting and inspiring. #babaw
• Dear Sir, sorry because I fail you. I never want it to happen. I won't forget when you said the word, "unacceptable". I'm sorry, I really do. However, thank you for being the kindest. I was touched when you apologize for being harsh. Thank you for giving me the second chance, for telling me "ok lang, bumabawi ka naman." and the smiley you put in the text message, though it wasn't for me. Cute still. :) And your name, like mine.
• These days, I have an eye for older men. And when I say older, I mean, man 5 years-10 years plus my age. I find them more mature, more gentleman, and wiser. This may be also because I am dreaming of having a Kuya.

Teary Eye

This post just made me cry.

Teddy Episode

Long before Joaqui was born,his daddy and I fell in love with a teddy bear we saw in Megamall. Not like the usual plush toys, teddy is made of a cloth like that of a baby’s towel, soft to your touch, hypoallergenic, and it was looking back at us as if pleading for us to take it home. Precious, just like the giddy little baby boy in my tummy. We loved it so much that we made sure to pack it along with the other essentials when we went to the hospital on 30th of September, 2004.

After 12 hours of labor, and a few more hours in the operating and recovery room, Teddy was finally introduced to for the first time. We placed it just above his head in the baby cot.

Since that day, Joaqui and Teddy were inseparable. Teddy lost a lot of weight,what with all the hugs he get from the chubby little toddler. It was a struggle to wash teddy because Joaqui cannot function without it. That, i think is an understatement.

Four years later, Teddy got lost. I thought i will never hear the end of it from Joaqui. Im pretty sure somehow he still blames me for forgetting to take that paper bag which has teddy my hard drive in it. I think that was my first major sin.

Three years passed and ever so slowly, he forgot about teddy.

Until last night when I was giving him a bath, we sang a song that reminded him of teddy. It was Sean Kingston’s song, Beautiful Girl. It was the song I sing while making Teddy dance to make him smile and sometimes laugh.

I thought it was going to be a normal conversation until I saw tears welling in his eyes when he asked if the cab driver gave teddy to his child.

It was Joaqui’s first heartbreak and mine as a mother.

I said Teddy is happy with his new friend now and that he should be too. Joaqui asked if teddy still remembers him and that if he is still Teddy’s best friend. I said yes. At this point, he was hugging me tightly and breaking into tears.

I didn’t know how I can make him feel better. I said he can write him a letter and we can tie it to a balloon and let it fly till it reaches teddy. He was worried it wouldn’t reach teddy and that if it does, Teddy wouldn’t be able to read it because he couldn’t read…because he didn’t teach him how.

It is at moments like this when I am reminded that the 7-year old teenager-wannabe is still a baby.

I made him a promise that we will go on a teddy hunt. I said teddy needs a new body but it will still be the same teddy he grew up with and loved dearly.

I know this can be boring and shallow for some but for me, it was a moment that I actually felt like he was that 3-year old baby again who calls mommy for anything and everything. It was another opportunity for me to tuck him in and say it will be okay and make him feel better just by holding his hand.

I love you Joaqui and Yana. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, I wouldn’t do within my powers to protect you and I will never get tired of listening to your stories and coming up with crazy ideas to make you two feel better.

I love you and i always will…I don’t care if, when you’re a grown up already you don’t want to be around mommy too much…know that I will always have my arms wide open when you come running back to me for absolutely anything.

(C) http://tatscruz.tumblr.com/post/17314361740

Project 30 Day Blog 8/30

Day 08 - Short term goals for this month and why

On work
Goal: Finish all work stuff (April 14 cutoff) inserted in my Pending Folder
Reason: Because naluluma na yung iba. Hihi. Should really work hard to finish a job in a maximum of 1 month.

On profession
Goal: Get my C.E. Board Certificate
Reason: Because naluluma na din sya sa PRC. It's been more than 1 year that I am planning to claim that but I'm just too busy , aaah, or maybe lazy.

On being a fan girl
Goal: Get my signed Taylor Swift album
Reason: See reason above. Replace PRC with co-Swifter. Haha

On personal life
Goal: Review 2012 bucket list and make at least 1 within a month period.
Reason: I always look forward to doing something new. I'm on the 2nd quarter of 2012 and as now I've only done 10 of 113.

These are all effective on April 17, 2012. Because 17 is an ex crush's jersey number. Because 17 is Chris Tiu's jersey number. Because it's my favorite blogger, Patty Laurel's birthday. Because it was 17th day of the month when I saw my dream guy. ♥

Project 30 Day Blog 7/30

Day 07 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Circa December 2010- C.E. Oathtaking

Let me share to you the message I dedicated during the 60th birthday of the person I look up to.

Dear Tita       ,

Thank you for being one of the most influential person in my life. I am very grateful to have an aunt like you. Thank you for sharing to us not only a house, but a home. I appreciate all the things that you taught to me, from being good at household, to study tips, and more importantly, life lessons. You're indeed a great teacher. Thank you for being an inspiration. I always admire you Tita. Happy happy birthday to you. I wish all the best for you. Good health, good vibes, good life. Stay as wonderful as you are. Have an awesome birthday.

Lovelots,

Maye

Cheers to Positivity

Got this from Rez. TO GOOD VIBES!

Visit http://shop.holstee.com

Note to Self

On career.
You're very lucky to have a good profession. You're even luckier to be working in a successful, respectable company. You're young and talented. Always work at your best and exceed your bosses expectations. Make your clients satisfied and delighted. Make your company, your family, and most importantly YOURSELF proud! You learn and grow everyday. Achieve your goals with your head high and feet on the ground.

On spiritual life.
Your GOD is the most amazing. Never stop praising and thanking him. Don't be sad if he don't grant your wishes instead be glad 'coz he's working it out to give you the best. Always take time to talk to him. He's always there, he loves you forever.

On love.
You knew your lessons well yet there's still much to learn. You could have met the right guy but the right time is not yet to come. Just wait. He might be the dream guy you've been fantasizing, your long time celebrity crush, your office mate. You'll never know. What's for sure is LOVE is MAGICAL! ♥

On life.
Always live by your motto. Seize the day. Continue your bucket list and add 'til you can. Be optimistic. You know there's always a good thing in every situation. Spend more time with your family and love them the most. Celebrate friendship with the people you knew, whether old or new. And continue to meet people, you'll learn from them and vice versa. Love and laugh. Life is too short, you don't wanna waste it.

Age 22

Today marks my 22nd day of existence on earth.

I celebrated birthday salubong with my very awesome Vista Residences-CCD family with our ampons. 12th of January night, we had our bowling night-out tournament kuno. Hoyeah, I fullfill one of 113 things to do in 2012, wherein actually the continuation of my 2011 bucket list. So anyway, I'm the lowest pointer, buti nalang birthday. Haha. At least, I've tried bowling. First timer, sorry. Haha, para daw ako nagjackstone, favorite lane ko is canal. Ahahaha. Babalik ako. All in all, it was indeed a super fab and happy bonding. Add to the good times the PG (patay gutom, jsyk) moments. Squid balls, fries and chicharon...STRIKE, sweep, in just a few seconds. Hahaha. After the tournament, we ate dinner at Gerry's Grill MOA. Kwentuhan here and there, those we're really treasued moments. So, here's the highlight...While we were eating, a waiter shouted from the entrance. I thought, there's a surprise raffle, or a celebrity, or something. The man said "Alam nyo ba kung anong meron ngayon? It's Mam Jessa's birthday!" Hahahaha. Lester thought pa, it's their bosses birthday, Mam Gemma, and will said pa sana Pakialam ko. Haha. Followed by "Happy, happy birthday. Happy, happy birthday!"  With other lyrics that says "Tumatanda ka na pero di pa halata" and "From Gerry's family". I was all shocked, surprised. Oh well, sila din nagulat, coz they were expecting na iaabot lang sakin yung cake, haha. That's all new, I was expecting the birthday surprise in the office, so I really don't have any hint. Nice one, CCD loves! Then the cake was given to me. Gremar said "Hindi galing sa Gerry's yan ha, pinabigay lang namin" Haha. And kaya pala Gremar is missing during the bowling game. He jokingly said pa nga "Ginive up ko na yung isa kong tira, para makuha yung cake dahil magsasara na sila. Hahaha." Ganun nga yata talaga pag birthday, kahit you are expecting for a surprise, you'll never knew how and when it will happen. Oh, the magic of SURPRISES. P.S. Thank you for The Sweet Valley Confidential book! ;) My very first read for 2012. Yey!

On the morning of 13th, I go to mass and pray. Indeed thankful for another hopeful, promising year. Thank you, Papa God! Though the first 2 weeks of my January was tough, I'm still looking forward for the happy days to come. In office, the people who were with me the last night all greeted me with "alamnyobakunganongmeronngayon" Hihi. And I'm just overwhelmed with the spark, facebook, twitter, text, and personal messages I received. Yeeha! Yet, I am not completely happy. I'm celebrating the night of my birthday, alone. Oh well, extended celebration nalang. I still have utang to my CCD family+ampons and family dinner is up to come pa. Always look at the bright side ika nga.

End. Happy 22nd birthday, self. Your older, wiser self.

Realizations

So here's the story...

One night, you had a nice chat with a good friend. The next day, you are both heading to your respective classes. Your friend found out that she forgot her calculator, she badly needed it for an exam and you're the closest person who can help her. Thus, knowing that the first thing you do in school is to check your locker, she left a note asking if she can borrow your calculator. So, you open your locker, you read the note, you wanted to help her, you felt pity, yet you made things complicated. You knew you won't use it within the day but you hesitate to lend it to your friend 'coz you wanna make sure you had the calcu when a teacher suddenly requires to use one. You felt guilty, you think about it the whole day, yet you still pretended you haven't seen the note. Later that afternoon, you saw your friend in the hallway. To end up your bothered feeling, you told her you read the note late, said sorry, and ask where she borrowed a calcu. She replied with a smile and said she taught she forgot it but found it also inside her bag. You felt glad but you still bear the guilt feeling because you didn't really use the calcu the whole day as expected. You could have help her. You could have offer it to lessen her panic feeling.

The lesson is.... When you know it's the right thing to do, then follow your bliss. God is indeed the greatest. He uses an instrument to help us in problematic situations. When that chosen instrument refuses to do so, God finds an extra special way to help those in need. God just made the two of them realized their blessings and learnings. It may be small yet became an impact in both lives.

My Board Exam Experience: The Judgement

The crazy, happy adventures of a board examinee while waiting for the exam results.

We head to eat lunch after the brain draining exam. When we got home, I felt so tired so it's time for me to relax. I sleep immediately wishing that when I wake up, the list of the board passers were released already. However, I knew it wouldn't happen because the results are expected after 3 days.

Monday, I woke up early and pray. Nervousness runs in every party of my body. I wash clothes, watch television, take a nap, iron clothes, and all.just to keep myself busy. I refuse to arrange my review materials because I want to rest myself from seeing those formulas and. C.E. problems. It actually didn't work because whatever I do, I can still recall the board exam questions. I pray the rosary and attend mass in La Paz Church, I leave the rest to GOD because I know he'll give what's best.

November 23, Tuesday. Two days left of being crazy. It was Ivan's birthday, a classmate who also took board exam. He invited us in his celebration in their dormitory. At lunch time, someone sms me asking where am I, and I was supposed to reply that I am currently in the mental hospital. This 'waiting the results experience' made me insane. When I arrive in dorm, we exchange thoughts and board exam stories. Someone jokingly said 'Pasado ka" pause then 'ba o hindi?' That adds to tension but at the same time it made us laugh. It's also good timing to be with my C.E.mates because being with them just feels so awesome. Plus, we had the same board exam sentiments. I attended mass in Quiapo Church before I went home, talking to GOD gives me good vibes.

Third day of waiting. I never dare to browse the internet ever since. I had this feeling that I might cry whatever the result may be, especially if I don't see my name in the list of board passers. Tita Nida even sms me that they've been waiting for the results since Tuesday and it wasn't release until Wednesday morning. My heartbeat seems to be so fast the whole day. I am my phone from time to time, because I am expecting that the result will be sms to me. GOD is really my best companion especially in times like that. I pray the rosary and attend mass again in La Paz.

Though it is possible that the results may be release on the next day because it's already late night, I'm still expecting to receive a message that Wednesday night. It's past 9pm while I am watching Glee, when I felt terribly nervous. I received a sms from Pam saying "Congrats engr." I immediately stand up and request to my sister to turn on the computer. My reply to Pam was "Di nga?Seryoso?" She sent to me the website where she find the results. I immediately browse it, saw Leann in no.1, scroll, scroll, scroll a lot, scroll again and finally find 1432 OLORES, JESSA MAYE POBLETE. I was in doubt at that because they told us to search for the results in Inquirer website. I had a hard time finding where on inquirer.net I could find the exam result, until gotcha, I go to O and saw my name, I finally believe that I am already a licensed Civil Engineer. I called Mama and Papa to tell the good news, that's one of the happiest talk we had. I also sms Tita M, telling "Tita, engr.na po ako. Salamat sa support and prayers." I got flooded with congratulatory messages in facebook, chat, and sms. It feels so overwhelming. I didn't cried when I knew that I passed, I did when Tita M called to congratulate me. Joan and I felt a party ambiance in the house. I jump and shout to happiness. My gratitude also to Tita Nida and Ate Tats who were one of the first to know the great news. Afterward, I sent thank you messages here and there to all the people whose been with me throughout this journey. And most of all I praise GOD Almighty for the wonderful blessing, the gift of a dream come true.

Now, how many "exam" did I mention in the whole "My Board Exam Experience" blog?

Prayer is indeed powerful

THANK YOU LORD!

Meeting a Stranger

Random thought today: "It is not always wrong to talk to strangers." I've always been aloof with strangers because one fooled me once. Yet today, meeting a stranger feels nice. An ordinary day became a good one, when you meet people that somehow made you smile. Wednesday morning, I did the usual travel on my way to review center, I rode the jeepney and seat near the entrance. A lola came to board, so I offered my seat to her so it won't be hassle for her to alight. She said thanks, I smiled. She passed her fare to me and I returned her change, she said thanks again, I smiled. She alighted first, and I was next to her. I was about to approach and help lola when she suddenly asks me where is my destination and if I could accompany her. Of course I did. She was about to say thanks and goodbye because I told her that I'll be traveling northward and she is going south bound. However, I still joined her. She asked my name, I told her it's Maye. We've talked much though it was a short walk. Lola asked me if I still have my mom, and how old is she. She guessed right that I'm the eldest 'coz my mom is still young daw. I asked where she live. Lola also questioned if I'm already working and I told her I'm still reviewing for the board exam, she told me, may God Bless you. I told her my degree and she talked about her granddaughter who's coincidentally taking the same course. I felt that she is very proud or her apo, she said that her apo is an honor student since elementary and currently studying in Pamantasan, who's having a hard time in the subject Trigo. Aaaw.I miss my Lola. Nice conversation. Lastly, I accompany her in the pedestrian lane and wait until she board in the bus, she said Thanks Maye, Goodbye, and God Bless. I said Take care and I smiled. As I walk away and travel, the smile in my face and the joy in my heart didn't falter. Meeting a stranger is fun. I hope to see you again Lola, thanks for making my day.