Feelings

There are unhappy days, stressful days, steady days, and joyful days. The past days seem to be combination of all feelings.

1. There are highly respectable professions as commoners would think. Can we at least manage to do the stereotype? Some respect and admiration aren't easy to regain when lost.

2. The magic of surprises are always wonderful. I am the happiest, well at least the second happiest because my friend has a cool guy crush. The sweet participation during the surprise skit, the cake he holds for her, the resemblance on their smiles, the captured photo. Everything just felt positive. I hope it will go far. But he has a girlfriend. 

3. My friend wanted this one guy to for me. She has said all the good things about him and he almost pass to my ideal guy checklist. He is athletic, intelligent, rich, religious, family-oriented, will be getting a degree title sooner and not chinito but a cutie. Let me mention that he is a musician, a singer, composer, and knows how to play musical instruments too and he blogs and he draws beautifully. BUT my friend likes him (although I have her blessing), and he’s still studying, and he’s young, and maybe he won’t like me. I may be his opposite.

4. There is a line between being a girl and being a woman, that I may call being a lady. I’m glad I am enjoying the best of both worlds. My lovely colleagues are too awesome. I’m glad I can talk a lot now, and listen and learn. Everyday is to be thankful for. Life is serious, mature, light, and fun. I’m happy to have my girls around. I’m happy to be back in optimistic mind set.

5. There is a difference between being a boss and a leader. Is it hard to practice common courtesy? I hope you’ll realize. Respect is a big word.

6. They say girls are multitasker. I guess I am guilty, I do it everyday.

7. Some may not adore rain because of its emo feel. I love the positivity on it however. Somehow the idea of walking and dancing under the rain is delightful. Thanks to Taylor Swift for making us realize.

8. I am interested about you. Would you mind telling about your cradle? I like you in stories. Tell me how you procrastinate? J I like your silhouette photos. 

9. And I melt just now. Until this very second. Shet, di yata tayo bagay.

The Journey to Finding The One

This is a lame post so don't bother reading. I just wanted these feelings be remembered.

You're always aloof to me. Can we at least give friendship a chance? I like you and I always look forward to talking to you. But it seems I wasn't existing. When will you ever notice me?

It was nice to have random group conversation with you. Your humor is always lovely.You also sing good. You're smart. If only we can carbon copy your personality and your pogi face. You're too awesome. And will always be too awesome for me, for us girls.

I confirmed that the guy I adore in the past was different from you. You seem nice and I felt we had this connection. You're a cutie. Should I try to pursue this feelings? The first two weren't a success. Should I try? Can we try? Is it worth it?

Your chinito face is relaxing. You are the image of my daydream guy-intelligent, good looking, rich yet humble, family oriented. There is something missing but maybe we can work it out. Let's be friends?

Sigh everyday.

Today's Rant

1. My bag is heavy. I should give up stuff I don't really use.
2. I'm tired travelling from house to office to site to home. Deymn. 
3. I still think about you. napaginipan nga kita eh, kasama mo sya. Pati sa panaginip, package deal? hmp.
4. Konti nalang susuko na ko.
5. I don't know why do I am even here. Mabuti sana kung nakikita kita sa ganitong panahon.

On the positive note:

Today, Jez, we believe God wants you to know that ...

you need to slow down.

Take a moment to pause, to think, to reflect and to pray.

Only then will you be able to get the right perspective on the people

and things in your life.

Emo Post

#likeastalker

You’re too cute when you water the plants. You’re the regular guy I wanted to marry. I adore your big house and your blue car. When can I found someone like you? I miss our cute talks.

#brokendreams

So I finally knew the answer. They say the things you never knew won’t hurt you. Yet it will give you lasting hope that eventually will break you. I guess that’s what I felt from the moment I saw his photo with the girl I certainly know he loves. He’s old enough for flings and I like him because he seems to be a good guy. There’s no future for us. Goodbye.

#solicitedfriendship

That moment when I am kinda sad because it seems that I do not exist to you when I talk. Yet, I found out that you care enough thru our journey home. Although I wasn’t the only one you care for on that group. K. But thanks, that’s sweet.

#heartbreak

I thought I found a new crush

Watched him that night and the day after that

Planning on how to get close to him

Then at the end of the day I found out that he’s married.

Common Denominator: They are all married.

I am the weird girl who likes them. I am like a stalker with broken dreams and wanted solicited friendship because of heartbreak.

Random Weirdness

1. I am currently hooked with the How I Met Your Mother series. It never fails to give me a good laugh after a long day of work. Thanks “liking @yaelyraz days” because I’ve found out about this awesome series.

2. Recently, I am hanging out with this friend during late noon and I am glad I have a confidante whenever I want to talk. I certainly enjoy exchanging stories with him. He might be the best friend I am searching for. But not really, he’s still just a close friend.

3. So I found this guy’s facebook. I was hesitant to add him and I am torn of sending him a personal hi or just wait until he accepts my friend request. I am eager that I constantly check my account. But today, I found out that his account was deleted yet again. He could’ve seen my request then. And he wasn’t interested. I am broken hearted girl again.

4. Your signature smile never fail to make me smile literally and inside. I adore your pretty face. J

5. I wasn’t expecting to see you. I am supposed to do a random visit in the village, and there I saw you. I don’t know if it’s dyahe when you found me in the motorcycle. Or is it cool for you? Then I saw your pretty smile. You look stunningly handsome. Damn. Then I saw you and your wife, it somehow break my heart. But still I love both of you, I love your relationship, I love you being a couple. You’re ideal. 

Forgive me, I am weird.

What I'm Feeling Now

I've been spending the last 8 months

Thinking all love ever does

Is break and burn and end

But on a Wednesday in a cafe

I watched it begin again.

Project 30 Day Blog 7/30

Day 07 - A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

Circa December 2010- C.E. Oathtaking

Let me share to you the message I dedicated during the 60th birthday of the person I look up to.

Dear Tita       ,

Thank you for being one of the most influential person in my life. I am very grateful to have an aunt like you. Thank you for sharing to us not only a house, but a home. I appreciate all the things that you taught to me, from being good at household, to study tips, and more importantly, life lessons. You're indeed a great teacher. Thank you for being an inspiration. I always admire you Tita. Happy happy birthday to you. I wish all the best for you. Good health, good vibes, good life. Stay as wonderful as you are. Have an awesome birthday.

Lovelots,

Maye

Times and Wishes

There are times when I wish mom is beside me.
There are times when I wish dad can advice me.
The two people I dearly love yet far from me.

There are times when I wish an older brother stands beside me.
There are times when I wish a bestfriend will listen to me.
The two people I never had.

There are times when I wish a significant other will comfort me.
The person I'm waiting for.

#napagalitankayaemo

Realizations

So here's the story...

One night, you had a nice chat with a good friend. The next day, you are both heading to your respective classes. Your friend found out that she forgot her calculator, she badly needed it for an exam and you're the closest person who can help her. Thus, knowing that the first thing you do in school is to check your locker, she left a note asking if she can borrow your calculator. So, you open your locker, you read the note, you wanted to help her, you felt pity, yet you made things complicated. You knew you won't use it within the day but you hesitate to lend it to your friend 'coz you wanna make sure you had the calcu when a teacher suddenly requires to use one. You felt guilty, you think about it the whole day, yet you still pretended you haven't seen the note. Later that afternoon, you saw your friend in the hallway. To end up your bothered feeling, you told her you read the note late, said sorry, and ask where she borrowed a calcu. She replied with a smile and said she taught she forgot it but found it also inside her bag. You felt glad but you still bear the guilt feeling because you didn't really use the calcu the whole day as expected. You could have help her. You could have offer it to lessen her panic feeling.

The lesson is.... When you know it's the right thing to do, then follow your bliss. God is indeed the greatest. He uses an instrument to help us in problematic situations. When that chosen instrument refuses to do so, God finds an extra special way to help those in need. God just made the two of them realized their blessings and learnings. It may be small yet became an impact in both lives.

The Man in Me

Inspired by Lia Cruz's If I Were a Boy...Oh Wait,I'm Not?, I'd like to share a stuff that I love to do which expresses the some kinda manly side of me. There are things that are typically done by boys wherein I enjoy doing. I started being fascinated with construction stuffs since I was a little girl. My lolo is a carpenter. He does masterpieces (or not.haha) made of lumber. Give him wood, saw, hammer, and nail, then presto, you have an instant household paraphernalia, name it from chair to cabinet to shelf to shoe rack and the like. As far as I remember, almost all of the stuffs that he created became useful naman. He usually let me buy paint, cement, nails and etc.in a nearby hardware, the reason why at very young age, I know the terms de dos, uno medya, de unong pako. I like watching him while doing his carpentry. I remember before, when he was still strong, we have a new item in our house weekly, or if not new, a redesigned one. I enjoy construction. It must be one of the the reason why my chosen career path is in the field of Civil Engineering. Living in all-girl home for more than 5 years now, we cannot avoid some construction-related things to do. Although my uncle is just a call away to help us fix an item, I'm usually game in doing the little repairs. I take care the nailing, screwing, painting, and others. When we need a hook/handle for something, when a door is broken, or when a paint is fading, I'm handling the repair. Our tool box is my friend. I'll do house repairs over stitching/sewing or doing laundry because I find it more fun. Maybe that is also a sort of preparation for me in a bigger construction that I'll be encountering upon entering the Civil Engineering industry. And that is The Man in Me. Bow.